Harley Quinn vs Jinx
Animegx43= Harley Quinn vs Jinx is a What-if episode of Death Battle, featuring Harley Quinn from DC Comics and Jinx from League of Legends in a battle between criminally insane girls. Description Taking two of the craziest girls, and making them meet. Sounds like a good idea. Interlude Wiz: There are many reasons for why people will turn to a life of crime. Unfortante living conditions that force you too, pure greed to take something that's not rightfully yours... Boomstick: Or just being bat shit crazy and doing it all for the fun of it. Like Harley Quinn, DC's most unstable psychiatrist Wiz: And Jinx, the League of Legend's loose cannon. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armours and skill to find out who would win...a Death Battle. Harley Quinn Wiz: Many may recognize her now as a foolish, blond bimbo, but with a high IQ, a scholarship for gymnastics, and a passion for the human mind, Harleen Quinzel had set herself up for a very promising career in psychology. Though to be honest, she probably should've gotten a psychiatrist of her own. Boomstick: You see, during college, she did an experiment with her boyfriend to see if someone would be willing to commit crime for the sake of love. TL:DR, she ended up getting him to kill a stranger and himself. Pretty sure that's exactly what a psychiatrist is suppose to get people NOT to do. Wiz: From her college experiment, she believed that she understood what went on in the mind of Gotham's most infamous psychopath; The Joker. After graduating from college and, somehow, getting a positive reference from the professor that watched her experiment, she finally got her chance to have study sessions with Joker. Boomstick: And confirmed just how crazy she really was by falling in love with Joker, busted him out, and joined his gang, giving up a boring life as a talking doctor, and becoming Gothams second clown of chaos...Harley Quinn. "Knock knock, Pudding. Say hello to your new improved Harley Quinn." -Harley Quinn Wiz : Turned out she was actually much better at being a psychopathic clown than a doctor. She was already a skilled acrobatic even before her career in crime, so she was able to fit right in with Joker's evil circus. Boomstick: While her arsenal isn't as vast as Joker's, she does have some favourite toys, such as her pop-guns, a set of .337 revolvers that can fire oversize corks, which is great for distracting enemies from when she's firing...you know. ACTUAL bullets. Alternatively, she occasionally brings a M20 Bazooka, a single-fire anti-tank weapon for when people don't quite get the punchline. Wiz: She also has a baseball bat for more up close battles, though her favourite melee weapon has always been her hammers. While their sizes have varied from practical to comically impractical, many are comparable to the largest sledgehammers ever used, which can weigh over 60 pounds. Boomstick: But then she's got tools that are comical AND practical, such as a giant boxing glove gun, explosive pies, a jack-in-the-box bomb, a non-lethal variant of the joker venom, and a chainsaw. Wiz: Wait, how is a chainsaw comical. Boomstick: What, are you kidding? Have you ever even used one? These things are seriously a lot of fun for when killing zombies. Why, if shotguns weren't so much more stable, I would've had a chainsaw leg. Wiz: I believe it. Anyway, Harley also possesses Olympic-class agility and flexibility, capable of rivaling Catwoman and Nightwing's, the latter of whom is capable of performing a quadruple backflip. Helpful for when the two of them have to fight off Batman himself. Whom she has been able to keep busy when not taken seriously. Boomstick: So she's bendy, huh? He he. Well, it's no wonder Joker decided to keep her around. Lucky bastard. Then again, you know what they say about sticking your dick in crazy. Maybe someone should've told Harley that. Wiz: Umm...Boomstick? Boomstick: I know, I know. I just realized what I said. Wiz: Still, you're not wrong. After a while, Harley started to realize that dating a violent serial killer...wasn't a very good idea. After years of abuse, she began to realize that all she had to thank Joker for was countless beatings from either the Dark Knight, or far more frequently, the Joker himself. Boomstick: Lucky for her, she quickly became best friends/hot lover with the much more confident lady criminal, Poison Ivy, who helped encourage Harley to be more independent. And for good measure, she gave Harley plant steroids. Wiz: Specifically, it was an injection of Ivy's own plant toxins, which was given to Harley with the purpose of giving her immunity to her poisons, so she couldn't accidently kill Harley. However, in addition to giving Harley immunity to Ivy's poisons, she gained a greatly improved body. Boomstick: This toxin immunity gave Harley improved strength, speed, durability, and even a healing factor. She can take on and even enjoy electric shocks, and was perfectly fine after getting hit by a moving car. She once got shot in the shoulder, and after the bullet came out, it completely healed over right away. At this point, I'm starting to worry if she's just a girl Deadpool. Wiz: She's also become fast enough to dodge a pistol a point-blank range, , and at this point, even Batman has a hard time fighting her in hand-to-hand due to her agility Boomstick: Okay, forget what I said. If I meet a lady who's super flexible, I'm NOT hitting on them. I value my life. Wiz: After getting these new strengths and much needed confidence, Harley became a legitimate threat all on her own. She has defeated some of Gotham's biggest crime lords like Two-face and Penguin, as well win a fight against Killer Croc after taking a full-frontal attack from him, whom Batman has claimed is strong enough to live a school bus, which is about 12 tons. Boomstick: She's even proved her physical superiority over the Joker himself, even when trapped in a straight-jacket. She's even snuck up on the God damn Batman himself, whose whole thing is being sneaky. Once, she even knocked him out with the biggest mallet in her collection. Probably a bit heavier than those 60 pounders Wiz: Comparing this hammer to Harley's own size, and because it's a wooden mallet, assume it is made of oak, we've estimated that Harley swung a 600 pound hammer on Batman's head. Boomstick: Ahhh...reminds me of the good old days when my ex-wife would do that to me. I can hereby confirm that Harley really is a dangerous, crazy girlfriend to have. Wiz: Dangerous, yes. Strong, yes. Bright...oddly enough, no. Despite her career and previous education, a lot of what she has learned has gone to waste. She's rarely the one who puts plans in motion and is usually a following, but when she does make a plan by herself, she tends to make some obvious mistakes, like the time she tried to escape Arkham by hiding in the laundry chute...and then getting trapped in a laundry machine. Boomstick: How the hell do you accidently get trapped in the wash? Still, even when after a point where she deemed legally sane and tried to go back to living a normal life, she saw no problems with walking around the city with her pet hyenas. Don't think that's even legal. Wiz: Harley is definitely eccentric and somewhat childish, but at the end of the day, someone who can keep smiling after so much hardships and STILL keep bashing people's head in, will always be more dangerous then you can realize. "And here you thought I was just another bubble-headed, blond bimbo. Well, the joke's on you. I'm not even a real blond." -Harley Quinn Jinx Wiz: While the nations the world of Runeterra have all sought after growth or power, none have made leaps of magical or technological growth like the city of progress, Piltover. Merchants, inventors, and really and creative mind will want to make a difference there. Boomstick: But, that's only the half of it. Down below is it's sister city, Zuan, where rules are a bit more lenient. As in...well, if it was completely up to them, there would be no rules at all. Wiz: Still, with the new cities playing a symbiotic relationship, both have found ways to live side-by-side, allowing for anyone to find their place in one city or the other. However, that doesn't necessarily mean Piltover's problems don't come from Zuan. In fact, many criminals found in Piltover are from Zuan. Boomstick: This includes one hellion who on her first day of the job creates chaos on the roads od the city by blocking bridges, blowing up roads, and something I've personally done, steal street signs. Imagine trying to get to work on a day like that. Wiz: These would only be the first of countless crimes committed by Piltover's boldest and most insane criminal to ever walk it's streets. She was the city's Jinx. "♪Come on, shoot faster! Just a little bit of energy! I want to have a little fun right now...♪ " Boomstick: No one really knows who she was or where she came from before she was given the name Jinx. Some think she was a sweet innocent girl who joined the wrong group at the wrong time and went mad after murder. But honestly, the thing we know for certain is that mad part. Wiz: What is known is that as Jinx, she is criminal hailing from Zuan who used to be part of a gang with her old friends, Vi and Ekko, all thee names being nicknames by the way, but over time, she began to hear voices in her head. Even worse, she seems to think the voices come from her guns. One can only imagine what kind of mental trauma this girl has gone through to begin hearing things from deadly weapons. Boomstick: Huh...blue hair, snow white skin...that kid actually looks a lot like ex-wife number five. Wiz: Aaaaand mystery solved. Boomstick: Well, speaking of guns that makes a lot of noise, her favourite is Fishbones, a self-made shoulder-fire missile launcher which, unlike your typical RPGs or rocker launchers, is capable of firing multiple missiles, not unlike the M202 FLASH incendiary rocket launcher. Oh, and she can rocket jump with it, something I hope to do without losing my other leg. Wiz: You may also be well acquainted with Pow-Pow, a compactable variant of the M134 minigun, which are known to have a rate of fire anywhere between two thousand to six thousand rounds per minute. And these are both weapon she carries around regularly. The rocket launcher are her back must be around 40 pounds. on its own. Boomstick: Hold on Wiz, were not done yet. She doesn't just like rockets and guns, she likes bombs. Like...a lot. Blow up bridges, blow up buildings, blow up people, blow up herself, she just loves bombs. Her personal favourite though are her flame chompers, which is basically part grenade, part bear trap, trapping anyone who steps in it, then BOOM! They aren't trapped anymore. Wiz: But her strongest explosive is her Super Mega Death Rocket... Boomstick: Which is possibly the most overkill name ever, Wiz: This giant missile has a significantly longer range than her normal rockets, flying across entire battlegrounds before exploding on enemy contact, and somehow deal more damage to already injured enemies. Boomstick: OVERKILL! OVERKILL! OVER--oh, and um...she also has a handheld gun called Zapper, which fires a bolt of lightning to slow down and electrocute the first thing to get hit. Good to know that tasers aren't beneath her, as it will slow down enemies that get zapped by it. Wiz: With all of these deadly weapons and handy tools, Jinx became Piltover's most infamous criminal mastermind, constantly on the run from the city's finest upholders of the law. Boomstick: And these aren't just your average donut eating cops either. They include a cyborg lady who clearly loves Attack on Titan, the city's sheriff who's also a hot, british sniper, and she's even gone toe-to-toe with the Piltover Enforce, her old friend, Vi. In fact, the two even got locked in a bank vault that Jinx was trying to rob, and fought an intense battle where Jinx ultimately escaped. Wiz: Pretty impressive considering Vi's own power. During her old life as a criminal, Vi was known for punching her way though the strongest bank vaults. While vault designs vary, older vaults in real life are known for being difficult to destroy, as they are made of concreate reinforced with steel, with doors being about 3 feet thick. To break through the steel alone would require Vi to punch with at least 40,000 pounds per square inch. Boomstick: And this super strong, punch happy chick couldn't stop Jinx, even when locked in the same room. But, Jinx isn't just tough enough to take on Vi, she's fast enough to get away from her and her sniping boss, Caitlyn. And probably a lot of other bad dudes. Wiz: There are many marksmen in the world of Runeterra, many of whom are capable of great mobility, and while Jinx may not be the most agile as many of them, she is certainly one of the fasting running. Boomstick: That's because when someone dies, or when a building gets blown up, or just when she's in a good mood, she gets excited. She lives for the sole purpose of getting an adrenaline rush, and when she blows something up, she becomes one happy girl. Wiz: As an obvious adrenaline junkie, these violent behaviours gives her a massive burst of energy, which she uses to fire her weapons at a faster rate, as well as run 175% faster than usual. So, we'll have to figure out her normal speed. Boomsticks: I'm smelling that some complex math is coming up. Wiz: Not at all. After measuring the in-game Battleground of Summoner's rift, which has a length and width of 160 meters, Jinx's speed came up as slightly faster than the average human walking speed, and the average running speed is about 15 mile per hour. So, when excited, Jinx can run, at bare minimum, 32 miles per hour. In the real world, the current record holder of the world's fastest running speed is Usain Bolt, with a record of nearly 28 miles per hour. Boomstick: That kind of sounds slow to me. Wiz: Well, keep in mind that we're only comparing her to the running speed of the average human. Still, since she's been able to get away from Piltover's best sniper and someone with the superhuman physique that Vi has, she most likely can run much faster. Boomstick. Well, I used to be able to run from the cops like that too, back when I had two real legs. They NEVER caught me during those days. Wiz: You know, the more we talk Jinx, the more similarities I start to see. I might need to get a DNA test ready Boomstick: He he. Yeah, she's a good kid. But she's young, so she has some demons to work out. Like how she'll try not to learn the difference between right or wrong, since it couldn't keep her attention. She even tried to blow up what she thought was a physical manifestation of her conscience. Though, he was actually a furry guy who loved bombs as much as she does. Wiz: Goes to show that Jinx really does live up to her name as the loose cannon. "I'll give you until the count of--TIMES UP!" -Jinx. Intermission Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set and we've run the data through all possibilities. Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!!!!! Death Battle ("Cues: Clown Fiasta - N/A Artist") On a busy night in downtown Gotham, brave or stupid criminals are taking their chances to commit their crimes while the caped crusader is on duty. But with Batman and the police as busy as they were, there were some places practically unguarded. Such as jewelry store that Harley Quinn had her eyes on. After parking her car in a handicap zone, she jumped out of the car while carrying the things she planned on bringing for the robbery. "Baseball bat: check. Gun: Check. Burlap sack with a dollar sign: Check. Alright, let's get this show on the road!" KABOOM! Before Harley had a chance to break in, an massive explosion was expelled through the front door, sending the entire building on fire startled Harley. As the store burned, Jinx struts out the exit as she spun her pigtail, seemingly ignoring the fire as she exited with a smile. Naturally, Harley was angry. "Hey, what's the big idea? I was about to rob that place!" She yelled as she pointed her gun. "You better give me whatever you managed to steal, or else!" "Oooooh, you like violence too?" Jinxed asked as she pointed her zapper at Harley. "Pow-Pow likes violence too! This isn't Pow-Pow mind you, but he likes it! With both of their guns pointed at each other, Harley Quinn and Jinx were ready to... '' FIGHT!'' Right at the get-go, Harley began emptying out her pistol as Jinx began running around Harley in a circle, firing off her zapper as she started to laugh manically, missing Harley as she avoids the shocks. Harley began to do the same as she fired her pistol off, but in similar fashion, kept missing Jinx. "Let's get wild!" Harley yelled as she pulled out a second pistol and fired a barrage of bullets, which chased Jinx down the flight of stairs. When she got to the bottom, Jinx grabbed her minigun began spinning the barrel. "Bring it on, roadkill!" As bullets were spraying out of Pow-Pow, Harley made cartwheels and backflips to jump out of its line of fire. With the minigun constantly firing, Harley was forced to jump away from the bank and behind her car for cover. Luckily for her, Jinx fired away from the car after passing it and became more interested in shooting anything indiscriminately. "And I just got it painted." Harley said, upset that her car was covered with bullet holes. Still, she kept focused, grabbed her bazooka from the car, and aimed it at Jinx. "Hey, I got big guns too, you crazy bitch!" Seeing the bazooka got Jinx excited, and retaliated by switching from her minigun to Fishbones. "Ooooh, explodey gun time! Ready, fishbones? I think you two should stop fighting and work out your differences in a friendly manner. Oh, who asked you?" Both fired off their rocket launchers as the same time and responded to the other's. Harley abandoned her car before it got it by Fishbone's rocket, barely escaping the resulting explosion. Jinx ran in Harley's direction after firing, and while Harley's rocket didn't land a direct hit, it still landed close enough behind her to get caught by the blast, sending Jinx flying towards Harley. As Jinx became the next projectile to get launched at Harley, she answered by leaping up in the air and hit the airborne Jinx with a drop kick, sending her rolling on the road. After she stopped rolling though, Jinx jumped right back onto her feet. "Hehe. This is fun. You having fun? I'm having fun!" Jinxed announced. "Let's play more!" "Fine. Let's play baseball." Harley as she took raised her bat." "OOOH! Okay! Catch!" Pulling the pin from a grenade, Jinx flung the it like a baseball at Harley, who instinctively swung it her bat, sending the grenade halfway back to Jinx before exploding, creating a a temporary smokescreen. Once again, Jinx began firing her minigun without worrying about aiming, but this time, a few bullets managed to hit Harley in the arm, but this just made her mad. As Jinx continued to fire blindly in the smoke, she was shocked when she saw Harley leaping from the smoke and swung her bat down on her head, breaking the bat in one swing. Harley then pulled out one of her guns and aimed it at Jinx's head. Unfortunately, the gun she aimed was one that fired a cork, which bounced off of Jinx's head. Without thinking to much about her mistake, she threw the gun itself at Jinx's head as well. As Harley was about to throw a punch, Jinx took out her zapper and jammed it in Harley's stomach, electrocuting her at point-blank range. While Harley was rooted in place though, she wouldn't stop fighting, grabbing onto Jinx's arms during the electrocution to shock her as well. During the entire experience, both laughed in joy rather than screaming in pain. The fun didn't last forever though, as after awhile, the zapper was overloaded by it own electric shock, causing it to explode right in-between Harley and Jinx. As a result of the blast, both girls were sent flying in opposite directions, with Jinx thrown through a a window of a building, where Harley bounced off of parked car before rolling back on the ground, taking some damage from the fall, but was otherwise okay, as she got back up to her feat rather quickly. Still, this did mean that she lost sight of Jinx. "Well, that was fun." Harley said after getting up. "Alright, Snowwhite. Where did you run off to?" As she took a step forward, Harley backed off quickly as blast appeared right in front of her. In the distance, she saw Jinx standing on top of the building with her rocket launcher out, firing a second shot at the distant Harley. "Fishbones liked ya! He wants to be friends! I want you and that girl to get along. He wants to see you on fire!" With a barrage of rockets raining down, Harley charged forward actively tried to avoid the attack the best she could. When Harley reached the base of the building Jinx was on, the rockets briefly stopped coming. During this time, Jinx prepared for the next rocket to be her Super Mega Death Rocket to end it. "Okay, here's the best part!" Jinxed announced. But when she took aim, she discovered that Harley wasn't on the ground. "Wait, where's she go? Was she not real after all?" Having turned away for just a moment, Jinx pondered where Harley had gone. Fortunately, the mystery was solved after Harley leaped from the railings on side of the building and landed an uppercut right on Jinx's chin, knocking her down as Harley leaped up to the roof. She had also decide to bring her favourite mallet to the fight. Jinx still chose to use her rocket, but was hit by a swing of Harley's mallet before she could fire. After landing several swings across Jinx, Harley was ready to end it as well. "FOOOUUR!!!!!!" Harley said as she swung her hammer as hard as she could, sending Jinx flying through the sky. "Haha! A slam dunk!" Satisfied with how hard she hit Harley placed mallet on her shoulder as she pondered how big of a splat Jinx would make. However, as she stepped forward, she failed to notice the flame chompers on the ground, which bit into Harley's feet upon stepping on them, not realizing it until she was already rooted in place. Seeing this, the airborne Jinx took out her rocket launcher once more, still armed with the Death Rocket, aim, and fire. "Bye bye!" Seeing the oncoming rocket with a large smile painted on it, all Harley could do was nonchalantly say..."Ah...poop-in-butts..." As the Super Mega Death Rocket made contact, both Harley and the roof of the building was engulfed with a massive puff of smoke as the floor was completely leveled. Further away from the building, the flying Jinx had finally reached the ground, landing back first the road. "That...was...AWESOME!" Jinx shouted with joy, completely shrugging off the pain before getting up. "Okay...on to the next flammable thing." Results K.O! Boomstick: Yeah, heavy explosives like those are the reason why I'm not afraid of clowns no more. Wiz: Harley certainly was well armed in her own right, but her arsenal certainly paled compared to Jinx's weaponry overall. Boomstick: One had some pistols, one a minigun. One had a rocket launcher, one had a much better rocket launcher. One had some bombs, one had a LOT of bombs Sure, Harley technically had a more diverse set of options, but Jinx's was simply more deadly as a whole. It's like bringing knives to a gunfight. Wiz: Still, while Jinx had the advantage in range combat, Harley had plenty of advantages for close range. Her acrobatics in particular meant she was more than capable of closing in the gap and fight on her terms. Boomstick: Yeah, and both of them may carry similar amounts of weight regularly, Jinx has never personally shown to lift anything as like Harley's 600 pound hammer. Or say...throw an entire person in the air like Harley has with Joker. But...just because Harley can chase after Jinx, it doesn't mean she really had any ways of landing meaningful damage on her. Keep in mind, Jinx has survived encounters with the punch happy vault breaker, Vi. Wiz: For reference, Vi herself is stated to weigh 8,140 pounds with her gauntlets, which would mean that the gauntlets themselves weigh around 8,000 pounds, or 2 tons each. Even if we lowball her strength and assume Vi punches with the same amount of speed as Harley swinging her hammer, it would still mean that Jinx was taking hits from something more than three times heavier than Harley's hammer. Boomstick: But it wasn't just because Harley didn't have the strength to put Jinx down. She really didn't have many ways to keep the maniac pinned down. Not only does Jinx have the speed that could keep up or even outrun Harley, but with her zapper and flame chompers, she had more than one way to keep her distance from Harley, even when things get close and personal. Wiz: And while Harley certainly has some durability and healing feats, a barrage of bullets and rockets would be a bit more than what she's ever had to take on, and with a much lighter arsenal of weaponry in comparison, there were very few options left for her. Boomstick: The clown princess of crime is as scary as they come, but loose cannon was simply too fast, too tough, too well-armed, and too batshit crazy to handle. I'm sure Harley would've been a bit luckier though if she didn't get Jinxed, but in the end, got hammered. Wiz: The winner is Jinx. |-|Blade0886= This is a What-If Death Battle, featuring Harley Quinn from DC comics, and Jinx from League of Legends, written exclusively by Blade0886. Interlude Description Harley Quinn Jinx Fight Results Who are you rooting for? Harley Quinn Jinx Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:Blade0886 Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:'Original vs Homage/Rip-Off' Themed Death Battles Category:'Girls Only' themed Death Battles Category:"DC vs LOL" themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles under construction for 1 year Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2019 Category:'Video Games vs Comic Books' themed Death Battles Category:'Girls Only' themed Death Battles Category:Blade0886 Category:'Gun Fights' Themed Death Battles Category:Blade0886 Category:'Girls Only' themed Death Battles Category:'Video Games vs Comic Books' themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2019 Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Villain vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:'Insanity' Themed Death Battles